Tough Days

The tough days... oh how I dread the tough days. Through this all I go through a vicious cycle of ups and downs. I will go through seasons where I feel confident, focused on God, and knowing this is all in His hands and it will all be okay. Then out of nowhere I wake up scared, startled, wondering why my world is spinning so rapidly out of control and where my God is. In the midst of a storm, especially one you have no control over, I am finding this is fairly common. No one has it all together and if they seem like they do, please pray for them because they are struggling more than you or I.

Now the question is, what do I do on those really tough times where I feel like my whole world is falling apart? When I feel like God is nowhere to be found even when I am crying and calling out in desperation for Him to pick me up off the ground. Does this make me any less of a Christian for having days like this? The answer is absolutely not! I have to remember that I am human, I have struggles, I have strongholds, and I will never be a super hero Christian. I can't do it all, and I especially cannot do it all without Him.

My roller coaster of this battle has been based off a lot of human input. There have been days where really positive things are said and it really seems like yes its all going to work out the way we have been praying. Then there are those conversations when my stomach crunches up in a massive knot and I hear words like, "impossible" or "it doesn't look good". Life begins to shatter again in those moments. But that's what brought me to this title, I have needed to shatter in order to truly find God and be able to glorify Him through this all.

I probably would have never begun writing in a vulnerable place where others can see what I am feeling and what I have to say. This is something God laid very heavy on my heart that I needed to do, so I am doing it. I have no idea why or what may come of it but I am learning a lot through it.

Recently I have seen what these tough days and tough times are really meant for. They are meant to rebuild what is broken, they are meant to start filling your toolbox with different things to help glorify God through your walk. If I can learn to fill myself with the tools that can glorify God and help others, there is no room left for the enemy to take up residency. I can win this battle and we can win this war if we listen, discern, fight in divine ways, and be there for one another.
1 Peter 5:10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while,will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (NIV)

I know these tough days seem like they will never end. I know the enemy tries to take over the steering wheel and we lose sight on how to give the wheel back to our driver (God). Meditate with God, be in His word, pray fervently, seek strong faith friends to help you and walk aside you, and fill your toolbox with what He is calling you to. Join me...

Lord, through You nothing is a waste. Through You all is meant for good and for Your glory. I believe these things with all my heart. I trust in You that You will not steer me wrong as long as I continue to seek and follow You. Not 1 tear that falls from my eyes is wasted, it all has purpose and meaning. I walking with You have purpose and meaning. Equip me Lord with what I need for this fight, with what I need to take down the enemy that sometimes consumes my mind. Fill me, Lord, with your Spirit within every ounce of my being. Help me to be still and listen and hear all You have to say to me today. Lord, whatever my struggle, my circumstance, my stronghold, show me how to no longer face these things. I have rested this all in Your hands. I trust in Your ways. All these things I pray in Jesus' name, Amen.

May this prayer be showered over each reader. May you find peace this week, directly from the Lord, like you never have before. Praying for you.